iSurvive Mrs Benson
by Sam's Tiger Ate Freddie
Summary: This story is guaranteed to have a determind Mrs. Benson, a frustrated Gibby working for soap, Sam and Freddie dating, and whatever other crazy things I put in. I'm horrible at summaries, but  I plan for it to be a crazy Seddie fanfic set after iOMG.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there reader. This first chpater is kind of the prologue, and it's not exactly as good as I think the rest of the story will be, but please give it a chance.**

**Disclaimer: Of course I don't own iCarly, if I did, would I be writing fanfiction? I don't think so.**

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><p>He seemed different. He was clearly happier; he was always smiling. He was out more; when I'd make him sign out when he leaves home (which I've done ever since he was thirteen, when I started to let him leave home without me) he'd tell me he went to the Groovy Smoothie twice in one night, or he'd be at an AV Club meeting twice as long as he should have been. When I asked him about it, he'd say he'd been bored and wanted another smoothie or say something about doing something to his computer that I honestly didn't understand, and refuse to say any more about it. I was very worried about my poor little Fredward.<p>

So, when that odd, usually shirtless child walked into our apartment, and began to wash his hands, announcing his love for liquid soap, I couldn't resist.

"So uh… Gibby," I began.

He turned around and looked at me in shock, "Whoa! Are you Carly's mom?"

I groaned at the thought of that Carly girl. _She _was probably what was wrong with my son. It's disgusting; she was probably attempting to swallow him all day, every day again after causing him more trauma. It was _her _fault that he had spent weeks crippled from injury, and _her _fault he was emotionally scarred from all of those years of rejection. I could see why Freddie would hide that he was dating her from me.

"No Gibby, you know me, I'm Freddie's mom, remember?"

"So Freddie is Carly's brother?"

I really wanted to help him. I kept telling Freddie I could get Gibby some mental help, I have some friends at the hospital that would love to meet such an… interesting boy, but he insisted that he already had a therapist and had been tested many times. I knew I wasn't going to get through to him, and who cares if he thinks I'm Carly's mom, so I continued with my point.

"Gibby, I have plenty of soap for you to have if you'll help me with something."

"_Liquid_ soap?" He clarified.

How dare he question the variety my collection of soap! "Of course Gibby, I have a wide variety for you to choose from, but I need you help first." That day, it had actually been a good thing this child's mind wasn't stable, he wouldn't ask too many questions.

"Sure lady, whatcha need?" He asked while taking off his shirt.

"I will always oppose boys without clothes" I announced instinctively, I had used that one on Freddie all the time when he was a toddler and he was going through his clothes hating stage. Not my best rhyme, but it worked for a four-year-old. Gibby stared at me, as if _I_ was the creepy one, but kept his shirt on. "Oh nothing much," I continued, "I just need you to watch Freddie whenever possible and see if there's anything that might make him act different, oh and try to keep him away from Carly… and _please _don't tell anyone about this."

"I _will _get _liquid_ soap for this right, a lot of it?"

"Yes, Gibby, any of my soap you want."

"Oh, I'm in."

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><p>I walked to the elevator the next evening. Freddie called and mumbled some pathetic excuse about why he wasn't home. It was 8:00 PM on a Friday night; little boys should be home in bed by 8:00! Gibby ran into the elevator and screamed at me.<p>

"Mrs. Benson! I think I've found out what's wrong with Freddie, well, I think it would be a problem, I'd be scared for my life at least."

"Oh my god, what's wrong with him?" I knew he could probably be scared of anything, and he's most likely overreacting, but he should at least be able to have _some _idea of what a threat to his life would be. It couldn't be Carly. Carly couldn't be a threat to his life, unless she was pushing him in front of a taco truck.

"I think this will give me the right to all the soap I … soap, don't you just love how it feels on your hands?" Yes, I do, but that was NOT what I wanted to hear about right then. "Oh, and how it-"

"Gibby, could you please stay focused?"

"Oh, sure. Are you ready for this? Get ready: Your son, Freddie, is dating," Carly, I burned with anger and almost didn't hear what he said next, "Sam." After a fraction of a second waiting for the idea to register, I scream way too loudly for my own house rules. After I collected my thoughts, I found Gibby staring at me in terror, and noticed he's wearing a detective suit. I shouldn't have relied on this kid, he must have been wrong. He couldn't be mentally stable; he was following two of his only friends around, in a detective suit, working for liquid soap. I should have known he'd misperceive everything.

"Okay Gibby, you may be right," Probably not, "but why don't you just tell me exactly what happened?" He couldn't have been dating the blonde monster could he? Freddie has common sense, he would never date _her_. He just put up with her, he's just a gentleman; he doesn't even care about her. But I couldn't convince myself it was true.

"Okay, so I got to the restaurant they were going to _alone, _and I saw them walk to their booth, they were holding hands, it was so… weird. Before they sat down, Freddie kissed Sam on the cheek and she called him nub. He's really brave; I would never do that, not after she broke my thumbs…" It couldn't have been true, why would Freddie ruin his life like this? "So after she called him a nub, Freddie-"

"Just stop. Please; I believe you, just stop." I couldn't hear any more of this, it was horrible. Why would he date that wicked little girl? He knew she's just trouble. She wouldn't be good for him, not at all.

"I believe you owe me some soap."

I did, but I had more I needed him to do more for me. I hated to manipulate him like this but…

"Gibby, before you get your soap, could you do something else for me?"

"But you owe me soap!" He demanded. I couldn't believe he knew he was actually being cheated in this deal. Oh well, he shouldn't be too hard to convince.

"Don't worry; you know the result will be well worth it."

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><p>I waited for half an hour watching out the door for Freddie to come home. (You wouldn't believe what you'll see people doing as they walk by your apartment if you watch them carefully, I am definitely going to get another lock.) I finally saw him and he was walking with <em>her;<em> she must have been planning on staying at Carly's apartment. I didn't even want her across the hall from my son; she needed to be far away from him, far, far away. After some disturbing giggling, from _both_ children, she thumped Freddie's head, and started banging on the Shay's door and screaming for Carly, trying to get them to open the door. She's so disgustingly obnoxious. There are much more polite ways to be welcomed into a home, like a ringing doorbell. I finally cut in on their disgusting display.

"Fredward Benson! Are you really dating _her?_ Do you not have any common sense anymore?"

"Well Freddie, I'm going to leave you to deal with Crazy." The she-beast said and began to head toward the door, she obviously could get in even when she was not welcome.

"Oh no, missy you are going to stay here and help explain what you've done to my son!"

She was about to make a rude comment when Freddie stopped her, "Sam-"

"You!" I screamed, "How dare you do this to yourself! I'm going to give you a thorough cleaning since you got so close to that filthy girl!

"Mom-"

"Samantha! Why do you have your phone out when I am trying to speak with you! That is so rude I can't even-"

"Just shut up!" Sam interrupted. Carly sounded so much better at the moment. She wasn't this little monster that was going to destroy my son, physically and emotionally. Even going through the taco truck incident would've be better than dealing with Sam, it would probably do less damage than what Sam would do if she got the chance, which she will not. "Look, I only got a text from my mom, she's freaking out and I have to go explain to her why Frothy can't get a job and why she has to figure out how to live without assistance from the cat."

At first I thought she was lying, her mom couldn't be that scrambled. My heart flooded with guilt as I realized that she didn't come from a good stable home. She was probably so horrible because that's how she was raised, and she didn't know any better. She never had the wonderful, loving home Freddie had. I was going to help her.

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><p><strong>I know Mrs. Benson was a little dramatic, especially at the end, with her wanting to "help" Sam, do you think it will be interesting though? Please tell me what you thought? Was it interesting? Poorly written? Funnyunfunny? Please tell me! If it's good, I'd love to hear it, if it's terrible, please tell me, but be nice please. I'll love any review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! I'm here with an update, so you don't completely loose any interest you had in the story before! Here it is, I think it feels kind of awkward at times, and has a bit too much pointless rambling, but it's decent enough. I know I'm not really fast at updating, but I'll try since it's hard to get interested in a story when there are huge gaps, but I've actually been busy lately.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, which is good, because Dan is doing a much better job then I'd be able to.**

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><p><strong>Gibby POV<strong>

I thought it was unfair at first, but then Mrs. Benson explained that finding out what was wrong with Freddie was only the first step of my mission, and there were an indefinite number of steps in my mission before she gave me soap, which was why it was completely fair that I would keep doing everything she wanted before I got anything in return. I wandered into the Groovy Smoothie, where were Sam and Freddie? They were probably here since they weren't at Carly's. Step two of my mission: Keep Sam and Freddie separate, for now, at least. I was just going to stay with Freddie as much as possible. I knew Sam wouldn't want to be anywhere near me. So she would either just stay away from me, and therefore, stay away from Freddie, or, she would hurt me; maybe break my thumbs or get a little more creative. I knew she was more likely to just hurt me then leave, since she knew it would keep me away, but it seemed like my safest option.

I found them by a window. I was about to go talk to Freddie when I heard two girls a few feet away from them talking about rutabagas. See, it's not _my_ fault I didn't separate Sam and Freddie, it was _their_s.

I walked over to them, I had already forgotten about my mission by then; I was too interested in the rutabagas, "Hey what's up? Are you talking about rutabagas?" I asked. They looked at me like most people usually do when I talk to them for the first time.

The blonde one spoke up first, "Oh we were just talking about how when in seventh grade, in geography when we were studying Asia…"

She was cut off by the red head one's impatience, "He doesn't care! Can we go now! You know I hate people!" I have to say she scared me a little.

They seemed like nice enough people to me though, maybe not the red head one, but I'm used to vicious people, she couldn't be any worse Sam "I'm Gibby!" I announced.

"And I don't care!" The red head one growled.

The blonde one just shrugged, giving up on fighting the Gibbyness "I'm Leah," The red head one just glared at me, Leah rolled her eyes "C'mon, introduce yourself, I know you know how."

She sighed as she gave up trying to get away from me, "I'm Jackie."

"Good girl" Leah sounded like someone congratulating their puppy when they come to their name.

I ended up buying them smoothies and spending the next few hours with them. I didn't even notice that Sam and Freddie were leaving. I didn't notice that I had let them be together in peace; and that I was failing horribly at my mission.

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><p><strong>Mrs. Benson POV<strong>

I couldn't stand the thought of Freddie dating _her, _(I actually missed when Carly was _her_) but he was so happy with her. He seemed so devastated that I was keeping them apart (although I really can't imagine why.) I was doing everything in my power to keep them apart when I could, and I was even making sure Gibby was keeping them apart when I couldn't. I figured it was a simple enough task for Gibby, I knew he should be able to handle one simple goal. I didn't plan on keeping them apart forever, since Freddie was so upset, I just needed to get to Sam, I just needed to figure out how to help her, and explain to her that she cannot be a bad example for Freddie, or I will keep them apart. I'm sure I could help make her suitable enough for my Freddie-bear eventually. I had already wasted too much time. It was time to take action. I walked into the insanity of the Shay's apartment. As if it wasn't odd enough with all of the odd decorations, there was usually a sculpture in the living room that Spencer was using to set the building on fire. I managed to hide my disgust when I saw Spencer sitting in a giant birds nest with a giant bird next to him. There were unpainted egg shaped objects sitting off to the side.

"Oh, hey Mrs. Benson," he mumbled as if I was interrupting something, which was usually the kind of response I got from everybody when I came in here. I did _not_ want to know what I had interrupted, though, I knew I just had to stay in this nuthouse long enough to commence my plan.

"Hello Spencer," I was dreading lying, it's just so rude, and mean, I knew I wouldn't be any better than the Puckett girl, but I had to do it, it would be best for everyone, "when Sam gets here could you tell her Freddie wants to see her, so she should come to our apartment."

Spencer was stroking his bird's feathers, "But why would Freddie go to your apartment? He never spends time at his own home. He's always here."

"Oh, well, just in case then." To be honest, there was no way I was going to let him come here, not with _her _here, why hadn't Spencer noticed Freddie hadn't been here lately? I got my answer when I noticed how focused he was on his bird's feathers. He was in a trance, petting his giant, fake bird. I knew He wouldn't ask any more questions.

"Do you like my bird? These are Marvin's feathers!" At least that was the kind of question I was worried about, and I knew it was best not to ask what Marvin was, so I decided to leave before I let my curiosity get to me.

I couldn't even begin to come up with a rhyme to describe how wrong this all was. What rhymes with feathers, or nest, or Marvin? "Well, goodbye Spencer."

**Carly POV**

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><p>I was watching Girly Cow in the birds nest because it had mysteriously replaced the couch. It was actually pretty comfortable, especially since I didn't mind the giant bird sitting next to me, when Sam walked into my apartment. "Hey how was your date with Freddie?" I squealed before she even made it to the fridge.<p>

She just reached for the ham we always keep handy for when Sam gets hungry (I swear Spencer's spent thousands on ham since Sam and I became friends.) "Fine," no emotion. Nothing. Not even a hint of excitement, didn't she understand that I NEEDED girl talk! Why couldn't she just cooperate? I knew she was thrilled to be dating Freddie, why couldn't she just show it?

"Sam, couldn't you even pretend to be a little excited about dating Freddie?" She had to have _some_ desire for girl talk right? She couldn't possibly not want to talk about it, "Please, Sam," I begged, she needed to talk about it, she had to be dying to! She just ignored me. If she wasn't going to be excited about this, that didn't mean I couldn't be, "Samantha Benson... it even sounds cute, Freddie and Sam Benson, Sam and Freddie Benson! Oh look! Here come the Bensons! They look so cute together! I just LOVE it!" It felt odd; I was usually saying that about my relationships when they seemed to be going well. She glared at me, why did she refuse to be happy?

At least she could see why I was upset, "Look Carly, I can be happy about this without having a prissy freak attack! I promise if you get a boyfriend, I'll listen to you go on about it all night if it'll make you happy. Okay?"

Well, she said _something_, so I decided that she was making progress, "Okay, do you want some bacon?"

"And ham!" Of course, I can't just feed her one form of pig, that's just not Sam. Spencer walked out of his room with a clump of feathers in his arms, oh my god he did not still have that ostrich did he?

"Carly! Do you like Martin?" I assumed he was talking about his bird.

"Yeah, he's been keeping me company since Sam refuses to talk!" I heard something muffled with ham come out of her mouth, probably a request for her bacon, so I got up to get a frying pan.

Spencer set down his feathers on the table, just what I wanted, ostrich feathers where I eat, "Hey Sam, Mrs. Benson came over and said Freddie wanted to talk to you, so you should probably go over there."

"Why can't he just come over here like he usually does?"

"I don't know, but I'd just go over there, if Freddie thinks it's safe, then it should be."

"Fine, but if Crazy's there, that kid won't live to come out of his precious apartment he refuses to leave." Her glare lingered on Spencer, but must have decided not to shoot the messenger. She marched out of our apartment and slammed the door.

At least I didn't have to cook any bacon.

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><p><strong>There it is, it's just a bunch of short pieces from different points of view, I'm not sure I like it, but I'm the next chapter should be better because that's when the actual plot is starting. I feel like I talked about those girls with Gibby for too long, but if the story goes the way I plan they should be somewhat important. So here it is. Thank you so much to anyone who reviewed. Please review!<strong>


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